Worried about Italian or Jewish Space Lasers due to claims by certain female congress members we will not name to protect the reputations of Reps. Boebert and Greene?

Worry no more. The Beamzapper300-H completely protects your trailer and discreetly immunizes inhabitants from harm.

NEW FOR 2024! If you absolutely must leave the trailer, for example to buy food or ammunition, the optional accessory B300-P is worn at the waist and generates an invisible magnetic field that deflects laser beams harmlessly to the ground, as shown in the accompanying graphic. (Sorry, but we did tell you it's invisible. Trust us; we (R) telling the truth.)

When ordering specify desired number of personal protectors, up to about three per household included for only $275.00 each. Child size $374.00 each, comes with comforting stuffed animal toy.

Lightweight; complements any decor or outfit. Specify mail or female and waist size; if female, number of pregnancies. stillbirths, abortions (spontaneous or induced) and live births (Texas only).

At this time we cannot confirm or deny that space lasers loosely associated with Mediterranean countries or religions were involved in stealing the election of 2020.

Tax and shipping are included. Order now!

Endorsed by the Tr*mpist Organization. Warning: Use only as directed by powerful spirit beings. May cause blurred view of immediate environment during use, which may subside in the future.